Waiting for Knowledge

Rereading the 3rd paragraph of LOK 150 for the third time, I realized something: I am living out the process being described in what I’m reading.  Just as the self turns toward a future in which it hopes to find satisfaction for its wants, here I am hoping that if I keep rereading I will be rewarded with an understanding of this difficult material.  And just as the self depicts the content it desires based on past experiences,  I keep struggling because I have beeen rewarded in my past grapplings with TSK material.  Then I wondered: why is this book titled “Love of Knowledge”?  Have I placed that Love in the future also?  I have gathered glimpses all along, but in our readings thus far, the picture I mainly receive is of how circumscribed and conditioned our lives are.  It can feel like Knowledge, the Beloved celebrated in the book’s title, has not yet shown her face.  That we have only rumors of her arrival.  — Michael

About Michael Gray

I first started studying TSK in the mid 1980's and have since attended a number of retreats and workshops at the Nyingma Institute, in both TSK and Buddhist themes. I participated in the life-changing Human Development Training Program in 1991, and upon returning to Albuquerque co-founded an organization, Friends in Time (with a friend who has Lou Gehrig's Disease), which continues to serve people with similiar disabilities. I contributed an essay to "A New Way of Being"--the last one in the book--in which I describe how learning to honor who I have been has broadened and deepened my openness to present experience. I live in New Mexico with my wife and two sons.
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1 Response to Waiting for Knowledge

  1. Hayward says:

    “It can feel like Knowledge, the Beloved celebrated in the book’s title, has not yet shown her face. That we have only rumors of her arrival.” Michael, this is beautiful. I do not think we will experience her arrival by reading about it. I too seek and wait.

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