“Seeing is forgetting the name of the thing one sees.” – Robert Irwin
“Only he who simply abandons himself to the object of his perception will experience it aesthetically.” — Erwin Panofsky
These phases from the CCI website inspired me to approach the emotions I felt yesterday in a different way.
I was in a meeting and, all of a sudden, a partner got in and asked me, speaking softly in my ear, to replace her in a task. I said no, but she insisted and put in my lap a paper with instructions on what to do, and left quickly. I was speechless and the meeting went on. A long time passed until the end of the meeting when I could do something about it.
But after that push, that left me groundless, I spend all over the meeting with a strong mixture of feelings. Once in a while, those feelings gave rise to many thoughts about that situation; complaints, indignation, powerlessness and the search of a way out. The feelings were concentrated in the upper part of my chest; pain, fragility, vulnerability, containment, intensity, aliveness.
The more I focused on the feelings, the more the complaints faded away. Despite the wish to label the feelings as unpleasant and to try to justify them, I could remain focusing on them. The focus on the feelings made me more aware of what people were talking about and I could recover my place and participation on the meeting.
In the end I felt strong enough to deal with the situation and the feelings shifted to an open feeling of satisfaction.
Can we conduct into awareness the trend toward transformation that flickers at the edge of our truths? DTS 145
Time is available to be danced directly, without imposed order or founding narratives. In this directness, knowledge is available also, without obstacles or preconditions, without special effort or acquisition. DTS 154
My feelings could be expressed in movement and aliveness. They could be danced this way. Watch the video.