I´m a little bit ill, and that ist a wonderful opportunity to have a “retreat” and to write stories.
I read a little story in KNOWLEDGE OF FREEDOM (p. 145) about a little boy, who listened to a ancient traveler, who described the grandeur of a distant city. The boy walked and walked and came to the “mountains, that everyone knows mark the edge of the world. If I continue any farther, I will fall off the world and die a terrible death.” (The boy turned back.) In earlier years I was seized by this story. I asked Hal Gurish, to give me his hand and to go with me over the mountains – and he said, you have to do it for yourself.
Jack tells us about the vulcano, not only to look at the burning lava, but to jump within the vulcano – and also in context with time, he says, to go in the river not to hold on the rocks of the river ( for me a white water).
Oh, for me there is enough of dynamik in my life – I want more of silence, a little bit like Ex.5, “Abiding in thought” (DTS,p.262). And there is anxiety. And I know, there is no way when I try to “go with my head trough the wall” (German: mit dem Kopf durch die Wand gehen.)
That´s it: I see the reflection in the air of the grandeur of the distant city, I feel the vulcano and I hold my feets in the water and I become an old man.
Oh, my life is full of gifts and I´m grateful.
Tarthang Tulku shows the direction: my anxiety. Very inspiring for me are the last chapters of KNOWLEDGE OF FREEDOM.